Having a sick family member can throw your whole world into chaos. Many people live busy lives and are just barely holding it all together. When someone in your household falls ill, it often feels like everything is falling apart. There is a sense of helplessness that settles in. When you’re watching someone else go through this, you can feel even more helpless. How do you support someone charged with supporting someone else? Here are a few ideas.
Give Them a Care Package
At the most basic level, to support a coworker with a sick family member, you can give them a nice care package. This is the kind of support that can come from someone with whom you are extremely close or a coworker you barely know. And care packages can be made up of neutral items relevant to the situation or personal care items you know the person will love. Whichever way you go, a care package is a nice way to say “I see you.”
You can either put a care package together yourself or pay for a service to deliver get well soon gifts for your coworker and their sick loved one. For a temporary illness, include items like soup, cold lozenges, pain relievers, tea bags, honey, and tissues. For something more chronic, you could include gifts like books and magazines, puzzles, soft cozy socks, and a cute mug. The items should be ones that will help your coworker and their loved one endure this difficult time.
Send Food
Food is the universal sign of care in this country and many others. Since time immemorial, people have been bringing casseroles over to houses with sick people, new parents, and grieving family members who have just lost someone. Why? Because who wants to have to think about what to eat, what to order, or what to cook when you’re struggling just to keep your head above water? Don’t worry, you don’t have to make a casserole if that’s not your thing.
You could make your favorite dish for your coworker or send a pizza from the best place in town. Or, you could leave their food choices up to them and give them a gift card for a local restaurant, Uber Eats, or DoorDash. The goal here is to remove as much guesswork from meal planning as you can, but how you do this will depend largely on you and what you know about your coworker.
Advocate for Them at the Office
If you’ve ever been in a position to have to care for someone you love, you know how it can consume your thoughts. Your mind feels like it’s racing with fears, anxiety, and concern, which makes it challenging to focus on anything else. This struggle then leads to fatigue, making it even more difficult to be your normal superhero self at work. Now, in addition to caring for a loved one, you find yourself falling behind at work.
If your coworker is in this situation, you can provide support by advocating for them at the office. After getting permission from your coworker to share, make sure the office is aware of what your coworker is dealing with. Help relieve their workload by delegating tasks. Find out if their deadlines are flexible, and help them organize their work day in a way that feels manageable. Advocacy like this can bring tremendous relief.
Provide the Information for a Support Group
So many people suffering for various reasons don’t know about the invaluable resource a support group can be. It can feel lonely to be the one taking care of an aging parent, a child with a chronic illness, a spouse with an addiction, or any variation therein. You often feel isolated, overwhelmed, and helpless. Worse, when you do finally try to talk to people, they offer empty platitudes and pats on the back. You might feel like you’re the only one in this situation.
Fortunately, there’s a support group for pretty much every situation you can imagine. But if your coworker doesn’t know about it, they’ll never be able to get the help. You can do the legwork by researching local support groups relevant to your coworker’s situation. Then provide them with the dates, times, and other necessary information, so they can decide whether to go.
Just Hold Space
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you can just be there. Again, caring for a sick loved one, regardless of the illness, can feel isolating. Many people in the busy world today don’t feel equipped to listen to another’s problems. Instead, they want to fix the problem or pretend like it’s not happening. For the person actually having the experience, these approaches aren’t helpful, and they can be harmful.
Instead, you can offer to hold space for your coworker. Invite them for a walk on your lunch breaks or on a weekend. Take them for a cup of coffee at a local cafe. Reassure them that they don’t have to talk if they don’t want to, and if they just need someone to listen, you’ll be there. Talk therapy is powerful for a reason, and sometimes all it takes is a willing ear and shoulder.
In the end, there are many ways you can support a coworker with a sick family member. Just the fact that you want to show support is a step in the right direction. Work with what you have, start small, and follow your coworker’s cues. At the very least, doing something is better than wanting to help but never taking the initiative. For all you know, showing your support may forge a new bond and bring you two together for a lasting friendship.
